The Salt
12:17 pm
Mon November 19, 2012

Sandwich Monday: Breathable Chocolate

[If you were about to note that this doesn't look like a sandwich, keep in mind the Sandwich Draft Principle applies.]

With Thanksgiving a few days away, you have to save as much stomach room as you can. That means, of course, breathing your food. To that end: Le Whif Breathable Chocolate. They're like little plastic chocolate cigarettes, filled with some kind of chocolate powder.

Ian: It's a powder. We're breathing Chocothrax!

George: It tastes like riding your bike behind a bus.

Mike: I think this is giving me Brown Lung.

Mike: Why is it called Le Whif? Is it French?

Robert: Man, this is so much easier to sneak into the boy's room than the "Le Bong" from high school.

Ian: Le Whif is better than Le Whiffre, which makes your eye bleed.

Eva: I'll have to smoke a pack of cigarettes to get this chocolate smell out of my clothes.

Mike: This is not only delicious; it's a great way for chocoholics to wean themselves. It's a kind of chocodone.

Robert: Much more effective than the Hershey's patch.

Peter: This is the first confectionery that requires you to stuff a towel under the crack of your door.

Ian: I could see you getting in a bad inhale-munchies-inhale-munchies cycle with these things.

Eva: This will be a very unsatisfying dessert after I go inhale the air inside a McDonald's for lunch.

Mike: What's the legal blood-chocolate level? I don't want to fail a chocolyzer test.

[The verdict: SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: I DON'T KNOW IF THESE WILL HARM YOUR HEALTH OR ANYTHING, BUT THEY'RE KIND OF GROSS. ]

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