Ask Me Another
11:41 am
Thu March 7, 2013

Two Tickets To Parodies

Transcript

(APPLAUSE)

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

This is ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm your host, Ophira Eisenberg, the first female game show host ever to be paid entirely in NPR tote bags.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Next to me on the stage this week are our ASK ME ANOTHER puzzle guys, Art Chung...

ART CHUNG: Hey, Ophira.

EISENBERG: Hello, Art Chung.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And Greg Pliska...

GREG PLISKA: Glad to be here.

EISENBERG: Welcome.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: More from them later on. But first, let's give it up for our man brave enough to band it alone - Mr. Jonathan Coulton.

JONATHAN COULTON: Hello.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And onstage with me right now are our first two contestants. Let's welcome Matt Carman.

(APPLAUSE)

MATT CARMAN: Hello.

EISENBERG: And Sarah Weitlauf.

SARAH WEITLAUF: Hi.

EISENBERG: Hi.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Welcome to both of you. Matt, I hear that you have a zine called "I Love Bad Movies."

CARMAN: That's right, I do and I do.

EISENBERG: And you do and you do. So in this zine, you just review your favorite bad movies?

CARMAN: That's my fiance and I, we edit. And it's about two dozen writers and artists, some friends of ours and people we're fans of, just writing about great bad movies.

EISENBERG: OK. That sounds fun. So what makes a great bad movie?

CARMAN: When someone sets out to make a good movie and they don't.

EISENBERG: Ah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Few people set out to make a bad movie, 'cause those end up being fantastic.

CARMAN: Yeah.

EISENBERG: That's right. And Sarah, you're an artist. What is your medium?

WEITLAUF: I do collage work. I also do photography and some video stuff. I make jewelry, kind of a little bit of everything.

EISENBERG: Yeah, sounds like collage, jewelry. So you can do it all is basically...

WEITLAUF: Yeah.

EISENBERG: ...what you're saying. And photography. Do you show it, or do you sell it? How do you get your art out there?

WEITLAUF: I've had a couple of gallery shows but...

EISENBERG: Oh, fantastic.

WEITLAUF: ...I mean, it's sort of like a side thing. It's not a big way to make money, so.

EISENBERG: What? Art's not a big way to make money? Oh my God, it's true.

WEITLAUF: I know, newsflash. So...

EISENBERG: Well, this is a game that we are excited about playing. It's called Two Tickets to Parodies.

COULTON: Yes, this is about the song parodies of the one and only "Weird Al" Yankovic.

EISENBERG: Oh, "Weird Al" Yankovic. Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The king of the parody songs.

COULTON: Indeed.

EISENBERG: Popular amongst our audience and to many of us in the world.

COULTON: Yes.

EISENBERG: Who knew you could make so much money just making fun of things? Who knew?

COULTON: Weird Al knew all along.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: So, contestants, I'm going to play you some Weird Al songs. We want you to complete the lyrics to the Weird Al version, not the original version, and just ring in when you know the answer.

EISENBERG: Ring in all you want. We're still going to have Jonathan continue playing because, as it turns out, this show is not really about you.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And after the song, we'll ask you a follow-up question. Either of you can ring in. And that follow-up question will be about whatever we darn well please. Yeah. OK, contestants, ready?

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) I've finally made it through med school, somehow I made it through. Just an intern, I still make a mistake or two. Hey! Like a...

CHUNG: Matt.

CARMAN: "Like a Surgeon."

EISENBERG: Matt, that is correct, "Like a Surgeon."

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I feel like you figured it out in your head at the last minute, Matt. You were like, what is it? What is it? And then...

CARMAN: It was right there at the end, yeah.

EISENBERG: ...you got it right there. And that, of course, is a play on Madonna's "Like a Virgin." But before Madonna hit it big, she was briefly a member of a band called The Breakfast Club. She wasn't the band's lead singer. No. What instrument did Madonna play?

Sarah.

WEITLAUF: Did she play the bass?

EISENBERG: That's a great guess, but no, she did not play the bass. Matt, do you have a guess?

CARMAN: Did she play the drums?

EISENBERG: She did play the drums. Who knew?

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: OK.

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) 4.30 in the morning, I'm milking cows. Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool. And I've been milking and plowing so long that even Ezekiel thinks my mind is gone. We've been spending most our lives living in...

EISENBERG: Matt.

CARMAN: In Amish Paradise.

EISENBERG: In Amish Paradise.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I can tell, Matt, you wanted to sing that. Amish culture requires its members to live simply, go without most technology, remain devoted to the church...

However...

(LAUGHTER)

WEITLAUF: Think I know what it is.

EISENBERG: However, Amish...

WEITLAUF: (Unintelligible) the song?

EISENBERG: ...teenagers are sometimes allowed to break many of these rules during a short period known by a Pennsylvania Dutch term that translates to running around. What is it, Sarah?

WEITLAUF: That would be Rumspringa.

EISENBERG: Rumspringa is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

WEITLAUF: Oh yeah.

COULTON: Sarah, I have to ask. You heard that this was a question about Amish stuff and you were like, I got this one?

(LAUGHTER)

WEITLAUF: It's like the one, you know, like, funny Amish thing, so yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Really? Just the one?

WEITLAUF: Furniture, not that funny. I mean, the outfits...

COULTON: Wow. Wow.

WEITLAUF: ...kind of, yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: Well, it's a good thing none of them will ever hear this.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yes they will. They will for that one week...

COULTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: ...when they can run around.

COULTON: Do you think during Rumspringa, they're going to listen to ASK ME ANOTHER?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: Mm-hmm.

EISENBERG: Well, exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) Potato skins, potato cakes. Hash browns and instant flakes. Baked or boiled or French fried, there's no kind you haven't tried. Whoa, you like them whether they are plain or they're stuffed, oh yeah. Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough. You know, you're going to have to face it, you're addicted to...

EISENBERG: Matt.

CARMAN: I'm not familiar with this one, but I'm going to go with the most obvious joke, which is spuds.

EISENBERG: Spuds is the obvious answer.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The children's toy known as Mr. Potato Head debuted...

UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN #1: Whoo!

EISENBERG: ...in 1952. That's right, audience, excited about it. It was a kit for kids, of course, to make their own custom figurines with accessories such as eye glasses, a pipe, facial hair. In response to complaints of children playing with rotting food, what key component was added to the kit in 1964?

Matt.

CARMAN: The eyes?

EISENBERG: The eyes.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Oh!

EISENBERG: I know. The audience gasps because that is incorrect.

CARMAN: I thought it would make it seem too real for the kids.

EISENBERG: Right, especially the angry eyes, right?

CARMAN: If he could see them.

EISENBERG: They don't need to see that too soon.

CARMAN: OK.

EISENBERG: I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Sarah, can you steal this one?

WEITLAUF: Oh, the potato part?

EISENBERG: The potato.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I know, it's like the lamest toy ever when it's like toy not included. Like that is...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) Tell me why I need another pet... rock. Tell me why I got that Alf alarm clock. Tell me why I bid on Shatner's old toupee. They had it on...

CARMAN: (Singing) eBay.

EISENBERG: That's right, Matt.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Singing eBay.

In 2005, a gray Volkswagen Golf was sold on eBay for more than $277,000 because it had once been owned by what prominent German?

Matt.

CARMAN: Would that be the Pope?

EISENBERG: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Which Pope?

CARMAN: Oh, it is a Pope?

EISENBERG: It might be a Pope.

CARMAN: Pope John Paul II?

EISENBERG: No, sorry. We're going to need...

WEITLAUF: Come on.

CARMAN: Oh, I forgot where he's from.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

WEITLAUF: Pope Benedict?

EISENBERG: Pope Benedict.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: But back then, he was just old Cardinal Joe Ratzinger. That's who he was back then when he bought that Golf.

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills, the classified dossier. Tapping the phone's, like, yeah. Shredding the files, like, yeah. Memorized all the enemy spies I've got to neutralize today. Yeah, it's a party in the...

CARMAN: C.I.A.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Matt is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: "Party in the C.I.A."

That was Weird Al's parody of Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA." I actually did not know that was by Miley Cyrus. I always thought it was by a computer.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: The C.I.A. is the foreign intelligence gathering organization for the United States. The United Kingdom's foreign intelligence agency, the Secret Intelligence Service, is popularly known as what?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Matt.

CARMAN: Is that MI6?

EISENBERG: MI6 is correct. Yes it is.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF JONATHAN COULTON PERFORMING ON THE GUITAR)

COULTON: (Singing) Oh, my little hungry one, hungry one. Open up a packet of...

EISENBERG: Matt.

CARMAN: Oh. My lasagna.

EISENBERG: Oh!

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: I'm sorry, Matt.

WEITLAUF: "My Bologna."

EISENBERG: Sarah steals it with "My Bologna."

(APPLAUSE)

CARMAN: Damn!

EISENBERG: You guys are great competitors. I love it. OK.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: One of the most famous jingles in television commercial history is Oscar Myers' "My Bologna Has A First Name. It's O-S-C-A-R." And the commercial debuted in the early '70s, featuring a 4-year-old boy singing the song while also doing what unsupervised?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Matt.

CARMAN: Was he smoking?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yes. No. No, he was not smoking and selling bologna.

COULTON: You should - should always supervise your child while he's smoking.

CARMAN: He's just thinking about bologna and smoking.

COULTON: He's just thinking about bologna and smoking.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Singing and smoking. Sarah.

WEITLAUF: Was he making a bologna sandwich?

EISENBERG: You'd think he was making a bologna sandwich, but he was not. He was... audience?

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Fishing.

EISENBERG: Fishing. He was fishing. Obviously a terrible fisher at four, not catching fish and therefore eating bologna.

All right, it looks like we have a winner. Matt, you scored more points...

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: ...so you will be going on to our Ask Me One More final round, coming up at the end of the show. How about a huge hand for Sarah, everybody?

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you so much, contestants. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.