Ask Me Another
9:10 am
Thu May 15, 2014

Unruly Passengers

Originally published on Fri May 16, 2014 2:47 pm

"I specifically requested not to be on the Pinta!" In this game, we imagine the complaints passengers might have made on certain historical journeys, such as Columbus's expedition to the New World.

Heard in Episode 317: Puzzle Hard

Copyright 2014 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Welcome back to ASK ME ANOTHER, NPR and WNYC's hour of trivia, puzzles, and word games. I'm Ophira Eisenberg and we're going to talk to musician Andrew W.K. about the ultimate partier, Jesus Christ Superstar in just a bit. But first, please welcome to the stage Sheldon Levy and Phil Betheil.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: So interestingly, Sheldon, your mother worked in the airline industry so you've been on 1,000 planes.

SHELDON LEVY: She still does.

EISENBERG: And still does.

LEVY: June, she'll be 36 years at United Airlines.

EISENBERG: Wow.

LEVY: I'm very proud of her and she sacrificed a lot and I got to see the world because of it, so I'm -thanks, mom.

AUDIENCE: Aw. Yeah.

EISENBERG: I know.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Phil, you are a traveler and avid hiker. You even ran like a - you ran like a hikers hut on the Appalachian Trail? Is that right?

PHIL BETHEIL: Of sorts. I was a glorified Sherpa, we carried food up to these huts and then cooked it. So I've cooked turkey dinner for 96 people single-handedly.

EISENBERG: Wow. All right. You are the guy to know. If you had to pick out one thing you despise about traveling, what would you say?

LEVY: People who don't know how to fly on an airplane. You paid $150 to go to Denver, don't expect first class treatment. Like treat everybody nicely. They're working hard, they're hard-working people, you know

EISENBERG: Right. Phil, how about you?

BETHEIL: It's when people take chickens on the bus.

EISENBERG: Oh, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

JONATHAN COULTON: The worst.

EISENBERG: This is going to be perfect, this game, because this game is called Unruly Passengers. Jonathan, as a touring musician, you've been all over the world.

COULTON: Yes. Yeah.

EISENBERG: And touring is tough, right? Traveling it's tough.

COULTON: Touring can be a real bummer, yeah. In this game, we will be hearing complaints from passengers who we have sent back in time to participate in some legendary historical journeys. Contestants, you will have to tell us what famous trip our spoiled passenger is whining about.

Puzzle guru, Art Chung, give us an example, please.

ART CHUNG: I specifically requested not to be on the Pinta. You better move me to a deluxe cabin on the Santa Maria we get to the Canary Islands or you'll be in big trouble, buddy. That would be the complaint from a passenger on Christopher Columbus' expedition to the New World.

COULTON: So ring in when you know the answer and the winner of this game will move on to our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

EISENBERG: OK. Good. Here we go. Excuse me, ma'am, I've asked several times to be moved to the front of the boat. I'm going to tell your manager about this. What's your name? It's Sacajawea? Well, guess what? I'm going to saca you in the jawea.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Phil.

BETHEIL: That would be Lewis and Clark.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Saca you in the jawea.

EISENBERG: Yeah. That is one heck of a public radio insult.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Ugh. This nonstop flight to Paris is taking forever. Where is my Kahlua and Coke? Where are the stewardesses? Pilot, are you the only one on the plane? Oh, wait, I am the pilot and I am the only one on this plane.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Phil.

BETHEIL: That would be Charles Lindbergh.

COULTON: That's right, his Transatlantic flight, solo flight. That's right.

EISENBERG: Nice.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Pardon me, Tenzing, Edmund, I need to go back to base camp because there's no 4G service up here. Plus, the tip of my nose fell off from frostbite so how is my Selfie going to look without a nose?

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Sheldon.

LEVY: That is Edmund Hillary's expedition to the summit of Mount Everest.

EISENBERG: Well, well, well. Someone showing off with that answer.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Oh, man. We really need to stop soon. I drank way too much Tang. Uggh. I'm not going to make it to the Sea of Tranquility. I can't take off my suit. You better floor it, Buzz.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Phil.

BETHEIL: That would be Apollo 11, going to the moon.

COULTON: Yeah. That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Henry, we need to ask for directions. We can't just keep wandering around Central Africa. Oh, let's ask these nice villagers. Excuse me. Do you know where I can find a doctor? Oh, he's right there. See, Henry, was that so hard?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Sheldon.

LEVY: A guy who went to find Dr. Livingstone, Stanley went to find Livingstone.

COULTON: Yeah. Stanley finds Livingstone, that's right.

EISENBERG: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. There is.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: All right. This is your last question. This is the New World? I've been on this boat for 66 days with these boring silent, people and we land on this tiny, stupid rock. At least I've got this buckle on my hat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Phil.

BETHEIL: That would be the Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock.

COULTON: That's right. And just - that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Just for the record, they don't really think they landed on Plymouth Rock. And also, they didn't really have buckles on their hats. But please don't write us letters.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: They might've had a buckle on their hat.

COULTON: Maybe one of them had a buckle on their hat, we just don't know. We don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: We'll never know.

COULTON: And apparently, there's some rock on some beach somewhere that they say is Plymouth Rock, but...

EISENBERG: But nobody knows.

COULTON: Nobody knows.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: Yeah.

EISENBERG: In the turkey was really a pheasant.

COULTON: Right.

EISENBERG: It keeps going. It keeps going.

COULTON: It's all lies. It's all lies.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's all lies.

COULTON: Art, how did that game go?

CHUNG: That game went great and Phil is our winner.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, Phil.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: We'll see you at our Ask Me One More final round at the end of the show.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.